You want me?

I have been going to the gym a lot lately. I workout like a trophy wife trying to get into her bikini by summer - hours of cardio and self loathing. I've lost some weight but I am getting really weak in my upper body. I recently found out that all the cardio is reducing my testosterone and causing my muscles to shrink. I am what Hans and Franz might call a "girly man." This is really depressing. It is one thing to be overweight, it is quite another to be weak and overweight. But something at the gym happened that lifted my spirits and made me feel like a man again.

First let me set the scene. I work out at a gym that is full of huge dudes - I mean Shug Knight's bouncer huge. Most guys scale in at least 300. Guys in my gym are tough. Part of this is due to where I work out - the most violent neighborhood in Milwaukee. Guys in the suburbs work out for health and fitness. They read periodicals like runner's world and men's health, eat low carb diets and take their pulse incesantly. Guys in the hood work out so that when some crack-head comes after you with a baseball bat to steal your cell phone, you can pick him up over your head and throw him in a snowbank. My gym is more like a gladiator training facility than a fitness center. It is about making sure that you are strong enought to fight back because sooner or later, you're going to have to. Needless to say, cardio is not popular - there is always and open treadmill or bike and that is why I went there in the first place. I guess I could run away from the crack head now but there is little manly about that. I once tried to lift weights there. I started my bench press sets with 45s on each side of the bar to warm up. The relatively small dude I was working out with, put two 45s on each side and the bigger dude across from us was warming up with three 45s. I haven't lifted weights there since.

Last night on my way back to the locker room from the eliptical trainer, a huge guy stepped in front of my path. He must have been 6'3" 33o pounds. I looked him dead in the eye and continued to walk toward him. (It is good to not show fear until the last moment before flight or fight). He looked me in the eye, then he smiled and started talking to me.

"Hey man. You play football? You look like you might play football."

"Nope. I am older and weaker than I look."

"That's no problem. You look like you're working out. We're starting a football team. We need some dudes to come out and play. It's gonna be a lot of fun."

"You gotta be kidding me. I am 31 years old and weak as I have ever been."

"No joke. We need some more guys. You'll be fine. Lemme get your number. We practice at Tech." (I gave him my number)

"Full pads? Full contact?"

"Yeah. Ofcourse."

"Ok"

"Talk to you soon"

"Take it easy"

And I walked to the locker room - head a little higher, chest pushed out a little further. The big dude wanted me. The huge guy wanted me for his team. Maybe I would make a good tackling dummy. Maybe I would just have the 100 bucks to register for the league but he didn't mention money. I am not sure why he wanted me. But he wanted me on his team! This was good news. I felt like a man again. On my way out that night, I signed up for a personal strength trainer.

Sometimes we forget who we are. Sometimes we get intimidated by those around us who are bigger and better than we are. Maybe they're smarter or better looking or more socially successful. And we shrink and shrivel and we fill our lives with excuses. "I am too old. I am too weak. I don't have time." And we take another path that makes us feel like a nobody.

The good news is that God wants you on his team. A huge dude wants you. He doesn't care if you don't believe in yourself. He believes in you. He doesn't care if you have all the qualifications or if it's been years since you've been on his team. He sees you and recognizes something special in you and he wants you on his team. He wants you.