Get Dem Rats Out Yo Britches!

I spent a week sleeping in a Tipi one time. And it wasn't because I was celebrating Native American culture. I was the only person in the 1200 member church I grew up in who was willing to spend a week sleeping in a Tipi at church camp with 4th and 5th grade boys. In case you haven't spent much time with kids of this age. Let me provide a window in their world.

1) They vehemently believe that Young Adults between the ages of 18-25 are the coolest and the best moral authority for kids (Mostly because their super-nice recently graduated kindergarten teachers met this requirement). They will relay to their parents everything that the 18-25 year old tells them at camp as if it is gospel truth even if it is complete hogwash.

2) They like to summarize the plots of movies, video games and books in the same amount of time it would take to watch that movie or read the book. It is best not to ask about the latest Harry Potter flick because you may end up getting a 2 day summary on the book, video game and movie and the non-pertainent but exceptionally detailed variants in them.

3) They need you to put sunscreen and bug spray on them like little kids but they want to stay up all night making fart noises like middle schoolers. They have one foot in each world - not quite teens and not quite little kids.

4) They like to wear little league baseball caps, vans skateboard shoes, baggy cargo shorts and faded black graphic T-shirts depicting Japanese cartoon characters with sharp hair and their dragons. They think these shirts are tough. I am not sure why but don't question it or you will get the lengthy summary of that cartoon and a slightly analytical assessment of the next best cartoon as well as three reasons why the cartoon on their shirt could kill the cartoon of the next dude's shirt. Just tell them they have a cool shirt even if it is the farthest thing from the truth.

5) They think girls are gross. Don't try and convince them otherwise or they will provide a lengthy summary about every girl in their class and why they are gross.

6) They hate showers and deodorant but love cologne/body spray. Don't ask me to explain this one either. Just make sure they brought some cologne because they're gonna stink on day 4.

7) There is always one really strange kid in every Tipi or cabin at camp. I guess this is because the kids are nice enough at this age to still include most people in activities even if they don't like them. In middle school, the hoardes of adolescent popularocrats will destroy the weak in order the thin the herd through social shunning and cold-hearted mockery. So enjoy the relative egalitarianiasm of the pre-teen Tipi community while it lasts.

Brian was my strange kid. He was triple medicated on a cocktail of ADD and depression drugs and he couldn't sleep at night because he was so doped up. He was genuinely miserable. He was the kid whose parents saw summer camps as an opportunity for them to escape. Each year they would send him to a dozen summer camps so they could emotionally retreat and recharge for the next year of being his parents. Brian had already gone to Jewish camp, band camp, theater camp and cub scout camp by the time I got him - a virtual trail of tears for the exhausted adults supervising him lay in his path. His parents were running out of world religions and civic organizations willing to cope with Brian.

But there was one place at camp where Brian could relax and be himself. It was in the camp animal hut with this funny southern guy with the camp knickname of "Red Hawk" who knew all about animals. Luckily the animal hut only contained safe and durable creatures. The southern man would pass Brian a guinea pig or a duckling and his whole body language would change - he would relax, breath deeply and slowly pet the animal. Every day at free time when the rest of the Tipi was swimming or skateboarding, Brian would go to his safe place and spend time caring for the animals.

On Thursday afternoon, I heard Red Hawk scream in a pannicked Georgia drawl, "I'm not gonna tell you again. Get dem rats out yo' britches!" Apparently Brian had started putting small animals inside of his pants. Brian just sat there comotose, with three furry rodents running all through his pants like a trains through a canvas subway tunnel, calm and collected unaware of the chaos all around him - at peace.

God wants to take you from the chaos all around you, and in you, and give you a special place where you can be free. It's called prayer. It's available everyday. You can be yourself there - whoever you are, even if you are the type of dude that likes rats in his britches.