Artists and Addicts

Tom was a Meth dealer I met a few years back. The first thing I remember was that he was white but he talked like he was black. It wasn't that annoying, fake over the top type of diction that I sometimes see suburban white kids try and spit - Tom was smoother and more authentic - like he actually spent more time with black folks than white folks. He showed up one night to church because his mom asked him to go. He was pleasant and quiet and seemed to put on a good show for everybody. I asked him about the meaning of his tattoos which seemed to spark some interest. And we all sat down to see if you really could substitute some bald artist guy talking about painting for a sermon. That night we had this friend of mine presenting art and talking about how he connected to God through painting. It was abstract art - really abstract. And when something is too abstract, your average southerner often believes it might somehow be linked to the homosexual political agenda. But to the best of my knowledge it wasn't. Tom seemed to really connect with the art. We talked for almost an hour after the church service ended and I learned before he had become an addict, he was an artist. He invited me to come to his house the next week and check out some of his art. But before we could meet, I got a phone call from his mom. Tom had overdosed on cocaine and was in the ICU. Things weren't going well. He had actually "coded" before I got there and was resuscitated by the doctors. I prayed with the family. And they were hoping he would live but more than that they were hoping that this would be close enough to death for him to stop using. I could tell they knew he wouldn't stop using. He was 24 years old and had been in rehab six times. They didn't have enough emotional energy left to hope anymore. They were just tired - they had nothing to offer. Sometimes we hold on tightly to what is killing us. We become spiritual and emotional suicide bombers wrecking havoc on everyone in our path. The apostle Paul calls this being a slave to sin and death. Addicts are slaves. They cannot be free on their own. They will not. They are past the point of decision making. And if we are honest, we are all a little like Tom. We are slaves who have failed rehab over and over again. We need to come close enough to death that we will live again.